


And They Don't Have a Clue

by ChaoticDemon



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Idiots in Love, Large supporting cast - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of Infidelity although none happens, Misunderstandings, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, SUPER CHEESY, Self-Esteem Issues, Sorry Not Sorry, Steve's Pov, Winteriron Bang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 03:34:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8147767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticDemon/pseuds/ChaoticDemon
Summary: Bucky is in love with Tony, who he thinks is in love with Steve. Tony’s in love with Bucky, who he’s pretty sure is dating Steve. Steve really needs less oblivious friends.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first contribution to any sort of bang, so I hope you all enjoy. The title is from "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" from The Lion King.
> 
> There is super pretty art by two wonderful artists and you should all go check them out!
> 
> Art by NeutralChaos915: http://neutralchaos915.tumblr.com/post/151022054318/his-eyes-didnt-move-from-the-picture-taking-up  
> Art by Omaano: http://omaano.tumblr.com/post/151021801483/tony-and-bucky-were-still-grinning-stupidly-at
> 
> These are also now embedded down below.

Steve closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “For the last time,” he told Bucky, “Tony’s not in love with me.”

“Not yet,” Bucky said. “He’s definitely interested in you though.”

“No he isn’t,” Steve replied.

Bucky ignored him. “He’s always building you things,” he said, ticking off the fingers of his metal hand.

“He builds everyone things,” responded Steve.

Bucky continued undeterred. “He keeps buying you stuff.”

“Again,” Steve said, “he does that for everyone.”

“He’s always watching you,” Bucky added.

Steve shook his head. “He’s always watching you,” he clarified. “I just happen to be standing nearby.”

Bucky sighed. “I don't understand why you won't just ask him out.”

Steve groaned. “One,” he said, holding up a finger of his own, “I’m not attracted to him.”

“Lies,” Bucky said. “Everyone’s attracted to Tony.”

“Two,” Steve continued, raising his voice to be heard over his friend, “Tony’s not attracted to me.”

Bucky shook his head in disbelief. “Also lies.”

“Three,” Steve said, “you’re in love with him.”

Bucky remained suspiciously quiet.

Steve sighed. “I don’t understand why you're so keen to have me date the guy you're in love with.”

There was a long silence. “I just want him to be happy,” Bucky said miserably. He sighed dramatically and began to walk away, probably to mope about his love life

“You know,” Steve shouted after him, “he'd be really happy if you'd just ask him out.”

Bucky’s only response was to flip him off over his shoulder.

Steve shook his head. “I’m best friends with an emotional idiot.”

* * *

Steve watched as Tony lovingly stroked the metal casing for the prosthetic arm that was currently occupying the work surface in front of him. “You could just ask him out, you know.” He barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Then you could grope the arm while it's on him.”

Tony started guiltily before giving him a strange look. “I didn’t take you for the type to be okay with other people feeling up your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Steve insisted.

“Of course he is,” Tony told him. “It’s not the 1940s anymore. You don't have to hide it.”

“I’m not hiding anything,” Steve said. He sighed. “Why is everyone so convinced that Bucky and I are together?”

Tony looked at him incredulously. “You stormed a Hydra base by yourself just to find him. You shook his programming loose. You guys are the love story of the century.”

“No,” Steve reiterated, “we’re really not.”

“He loves you,” Tony insisted. “Everyone can see that.”

“He loves me like a brother,” Steve tried to clarify.

Tony turned back to the arm on his worktop. “I don't know why you want to keep it a secret,” he said, staring wistfully at the piece of machinery. “If Bucky loved me, I'd make sure everyone knew.” He was silent for a moment, as though he was imagining that very situation. His fingers hovered over the metal before he dropped his hand into his lap. He turned back to Steve with a tremulous smile. “You don't have to worry, though. I won't tell anyone if you're not ready.”

Steve had the urge to scream.

* * *

“Truth or dare,” Clint suggested, pointing at Steve with a hand still holding a tumbler of booze. The liquid threatened to slosh over the edge and Steve took a few steps back. He really didn’t feel like being covered in alcohol tonight, thanks.

Natasha snorted at her friend. “Do you really think that would work?” she asked. She took a sip of her vodka before continuing. “Those two idiots would still find some way to misinterpret everything.”

Sam, sitting next to her, snickered. “I love you, Tony,” he said in a gruff voice that Steve recognized as his Bucky impersonation.

“Woe is me,” Natasha sighed, staring off into the middle distance. “Bucky loves me platonically.”

Clint thought for a moment. “We write each of them a love letter signed by the other person,” he suggested.

Sam held up his hands as though he was reading an imaginary letter. “Steve,” he said plaintively, still in his Bucky voice, “I think I was accidentally given a letter Tony wrote to you. It’s addressed to me, but I’m sure he actually meant to send it to you.”

“Alright, alright,” Clint said. He took out his phone and fiddled with it for a minute, the bright screen lighting up his face in the dim room. “We lock them in a closet together,” he finally said.

Natasha just stared at him. “You do know James has super strength, right? He can just break out of whatever closet we put him in.”

“I don’t think TvTropes is the answer to our problems,” added Sam. Clint pouted. Steve sighed.

* * *

 “It’s sweet that they managed to find each other while doing this,” Daredevil said, gesturing at Tony and Bucky checking each other over for injuries a couple dozen yards away. “Love doesn't come easy when you're fighting supervillains.”

“Oh,” Steve said flatly, “they're not together.”

Daredevil was silent for a moment as he took in the two idiots fussing over each other amongst the rubble. “Seriously?”

“Yes,” Steve said, tired.

Daredevil was silent for another moment. “Why in the world not?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately, they're both insecure morons who are convinced that their love is unrequited.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Daredevil continued.

Steve sighed. “I know.”

“It’s so obvious that they're in love with each other.” A pause. “Even a blind man can see it.”

Steve shrugged helplessly. “We’ve tried telling them, but they refuse to listen.”

In the distance, Tony rubbed his hand over Bucky’s left arm, likely checking for any obvious damage to it. Bucky was watching Tony with the most lovestruck expression Steve had ever seen. They were so absorbed in each other that they didn't even react when one of Scott’s giant ant friends scuttled past.

“I’m going to go,” Daredevil said slowly, pointing a thumb behind himself.

“Remember to call us if you need any help,” Steve told him.

Daredevil shook his head. “Let me know when those two have gotten their act together.”

* * *

 “Here,” Tony told Steve, thrusting a couple slips of paper into his face. Steve blinked at them before taking them out of the other man's hand.

“What are they?” Steve asked. They looked a lot like… “Tickets?”

Tony nodded. “To the science museum.”

Steve stared at them. “Okay. Why are you giving me these?” He flipped the tickets over, hoping to find some sort of clue.

“I thought Bucky would like to go,” came the answer.

Steve perked up. “He would,” he agreed. He tried to hand the tickets back, but Tony refused to take them. Steve narrowed his eyes at the other man. “Tony,” he began exasperatedly, “why are you giving me these tickets?”

Tony stared up at him with an earnest expression. “We’ve been so busy lately that you and Bucky haven’t really had any time for yourselves. You should go out, make a day of it. The rest of us can handle any calls that come in.”

“You know,” Steve said as he fought the urge to roll his eyes, “as much as Bucky would like going to the science museum, he’d like it a lot better if he got to go with you.”

Tony snorted. “Sure,” he said, “I totally believe you.” A pause. “Just give me a heads up when you go on your date so I can make sure everyone else is available if a supervillain tries to break something.” He looked around for a moment as though he wasn’t entirely certain what to do before finally nodding awkwardly and walking away.

Steve, still holding the tickets, looked to the ceiling and shook his head. Idiots, the both of them.

* * *

 Tony was right about one thing; Bucky really did enjoy the museum. He ran from exhibit to exhibit, playing with everything he could get his hands on. He was only patient when there was a group of kids checking out an exhibit, and even then he was practically vibrating as he waited for them to finish. Steve couldn't help but grin; if there was anything Bucky loved more than science, it was science he could touch.

“This was a great idea,” Bucky declared as he sat next to Steve. They were waiting for a school group to finish with one of the exhibits so that Bucky could go to town with it after.

Steve hummed. “It was Tony’s idea, actually. He even bought the tickets.”

Bucky stared at him in horror. “Why am I here with you then?” he demanded. “If Tony got tickets for the two of you to come here, then you should have gone with him.”

“He didn’t want to come here with me,” Steve retorted. “He wanted me to come here with you.”

Bucky frowned at him. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying,” Steve told him. “He specifically told me that he’d gotten the tickets because he thought you’d find it fun.”

It was almost entertaining, the way Bucky’s face flushed red. “He said that?” he asked in disbelief. “Why would he do that for me?”

Steve snorted. “Because he’s hopelessly in love with you.”

Bucky punched him in the shoulder. He was quiet for a moment. “I’m glad that he’s encouraging us to hang out. I know we'll still be friends even after you finally get your act together and ask him out, but I'd hate for things to be awkward.” He raced to the now empty exhibit before Steve could reply.

For his part, Steve closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. There was no point in making a scene here.

* * *

 “I’ll take the left,” Jessica offered. Steve nodded in agreement and they both made their moves. The poor saps went flying. Steve winced as he took in the dent the goons had left in the wall, but the PI seemed relatively unconcerned. “They’re still breathing,” she said when he gave her a questioning look. “They’ll be fine. Probably.”

Steve fingered the phone in his pants pocket idly while he considered calling an ambulance, just in case. He cast a glance around the area to see how Tony and Bucky were faring. He needn’t have worried. The two of them were dispatching the thugs with minimal effort, all while mooning over each other. It would have been impressive if it wasn’t so frustrating.

It was only a moment later that their assailants had all been vanquished, and Bucky and Tony joined Steve and Jessica, grinning at each other all the while. None of the thugs were moving. Steve pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’m going to call an ambulance,” he said. He had a feeling that the four of them had overdone it.

Jessica shrugged. “Suit yourself,” she told him. Turning to the other two, she said, “See you two lovebirds later.”

The reaction was visceral. “We’re not together,” Tony blurted out far too loudly, rapidly alternating his gaze between Steve and Bucky.

“Yeah,” Bucky added tremulously. “Of course not. Why would we be?”

Tony plastered on a fake smile. “Right?” he added. “That’d be ridiculous.”

Bucky couldn’t completely hide his flinch. “Definitely,” he added.

“Please state the nature of your emergency,” said the dispatcher through the speaker on Steve’s phone. Steve sighed and began explaining the need for medical services.

Jessica narrowed her eyes at them. “Okay,” she said slowly. “You realize I don’t actually care, right?”

Both Tony and Bucky fell silent. They wouldn’t look at each other. Steve sighed again.

* * *

 Clint scrolled furiously through his phone. “C’mon, TvTropes,” he begged. “Don’t fail me now.”

Sam shook his head. “That’s not going to help,” he said. Clint ignored him. He turned to Rhodes instead. “You got any insight?”

Rhodes sighed and took a sip of his vibrantly colored drink. “The way I see it,” he told the assembled avengers, “is that they’re both convinced that no one could want them, that they’re too much trouble. They’re terrified to push for more because they think they’re lucky to even be friends with each other.” He fiddled with the tiny umbrella in his glass and frowned. “Tony does this with every relationship.”

“He didn’t seem to have this issue with Pepper,” Natasha said.

Rhodes just looked at her. “You do realize that the two of them didn’t start dating until after the Expo blew up. After Tony found out he wasn’t dying anymore.”

Natasha blinked at him. Steve was pretty sure she was surprised.

“I,” Vision announced, “have done some research that I think may be of some help to this situation.”

Next to him, Wanda closed her eyes. “I don’t think romance novels are particularly accurate,” she told him.

Vision seemed confused by this  idea. “Why would they be called romance novels if you can’t learn about romance from reading them?”

“There’s more to life than accuracy,” Clint said, eyes still focused on the tiny screen in front of him.

Natasha snorted. “You’re one to talk,” she told him.

Clint finally put his phone down and stuck his tongue out at her. “We could make them share a bed,” he suggested.

“Why don’t we save that for when we’re really desperate,” said Steve. He wasn’t sure that would ever end well.

* * *

 Bucky sighed. When Steve didn’t react, he sighed again, more loudly.

Steve rolled his eyes. “What’s the matter, Bucky?” he asked.

Bucky sighed again from where he was sprawled on the couch. “I don’t know what to get Tony for his birthday,” he said.

“You don’t have any ideas?” Steve asked. “You’ve only been trying to figure this out for months.”

“Nothing I can think of is good enough,” Bucky sighed yet again. “He only deserves the best, but he already has the best. What am I supposed to get him?”

Steve shrugged. “According to Pepper, the best gifts are things the other person wants but would never actually get for themselves.”

Bucky hummed. “Okay,” he said, “but what does he want that he would never get for himself?”

“You could always wrap a bow around your neck and give him yourself,” Steve suggested. Bucky scowled at him. Steve rolled his eyes. “You could make him something,” he offered. “That might be better than anything you could buy.”

Bucky thought for a moment. “That’s not a bad idea,” he said finally. He rose from the couch and wandered off, presumably to begin plotting his masterpiece.

“This is going to end well,” Steve said to the empty room. He was going to have to make sure Bucky didn't set anything on fire, wasn’t he?

* * *

 Loki really needed to stop dressing in green and gold if he actually wanted to blend in. It didn’t matter that today he was sporting curves he didn’t normally have and was wearing a very short dress. The color scheme he was dressed in was a dead giveaway.

“Do I need to call Thor?” Steve asked as he approached the table the god was sitting at. Loki slid his sunglasses down his nose and stared at him over the top of them, an eyebrow raised. Steve sat down in an empty chair and patted his pocket to make sure he had his phone.

“My brother has no right to interfere with my love life,” Loki retorted. “I’ve no intention of causing trouble.”

Steve leaned back in his chair. “Really,” he said skeptically.

Loki’s smile was very bright. “Really, really.”

“So you’re not trying to do anything villainous or mess with the Avengers.”

Loki gasped. “I can’t believe you, Captain,” he said a little too dramatically. “To think you would accuse me of such things when I’m only looking for a little companionship. I’ve no intention of interfering with your little team.”

Steve didn’t say anything. He just watched the god with a raised eyebrow of his own. He could wait him out. After a few moments, Steve’s patience was rewarded. Loki continued, “it’s hardly my fault if my search for love might intrude upon a relationship that may already exist among you.”

“Are you talking about Tony and Bucky?” Steve asked.

Loki rolled his eyes. “As though I’d tell you.”

“Because if it is,” Steve said casually, “you can go right ahead. You wouldn’t be getting between them at all.”

Loki blinked. “What?”

“They’re not dating,” Steve said. He was enjoying the dumbfounded look on Loki’s face.

“What?” Loki repeated.

Steve shrugged. “I know.”

“What?” Loki asked for a third time.

* * *

“Everyone’s busy,” Tony said as he paced the room. “The party’s tonight and I need a date.”

Steve knew for a fact that the rest of the team wasn’t actually busy, but he wasn’t about to tell that to Tony. “Bucky’s free,” he said instead.

Tony looked at him with wide eyes. “I can’t take Bucky,” he said, “Do you know how much Pepper will kill me if the stocks drop? A lot. She’ll kill me a lot. We can’t afford to have people think I’m trying to break up Captain America and the love of his life.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “No one’s going to think you’re a homewrecker because we’re not together.” Tony snorted at him in disbelief. “And even if someone does, just tell them I’m okay with it. Problem solved.”

Apparently Tony didn’t buy it. He just shook his head at Steve and resumed his pacing. “You’ll get to see him all dressed up,” Steve wheedled. Tony froze and made a strange whining sound.

“I can’t,” Tony wailed after a moment.

Steve sighed. “Friday?” he asked. “Can you ask Bucky if he’d go with Tony to the Gala tonight?”

Tony froze and stared at him in horror. Steve stared back innocently. A moment later, Friday responded. “Bucky says he’ll go with Boss.”

Tony started breathing quickly. Steve patted him on the shoulder. “Good luck, tonight,” he said. “Goodness knows you two need it.”

* * *

“You actually got them to go to the Gala together?” Sam asked, impressed.

“Fake relationship,” Clint said, nodding sagely. “I knew you’d embrace the ways of tropes, Cap.”

Scott shook his head. “How is that a fake relationship?” he asked. “Steve just said that they were going to tell anyone who asked that Steve is okay with it.”

Clint scowled and pointed a finger at the other man. “This is why we don’t invite you to do things with us,” he said. Scott gasped, offended. Hope rolled her eyes at the two of them.

Natasha sighed. “You know they’re going to come out of this even more lovestruck than before and still oblivious to each other's feelings.”

Steve groaned. “I know.”

“I could make a love potion,” Loki offered.

“They’re already in love with each other,” Clint said derisively. “How is a love potion supposed to help?” He glared at Loki, who glared right back.

Thor didn’t seem to notice. “A truth potion?” he suggested. “Loki’s had success with that before.”

Clint perked up at the idea, so Steve thought it was best to nip it in the bud. “Do you really think that giving a truth potion to people who deal in classified and confidential information is a good idea?”

Clint pouted, but now Loki was looking excited. “No,” Steve told him. Loki raised an eyebrow in challenge. “No,” Steve repeated.

* * *

Steve took one look at the paper the next morning and bit his lip. “Whoops,” he said aloud.

“‘Whoops?’” Tony repeated. “‘Whoops?’ They think Bucky and I are dating!” He sank down in an empty seat and buried his face in his hands.

Steve thought it was a little dramatic. “It’s not that bad,” he protested.

“Of course it’s bad,” said Tony. “This is only going to make things harder.” He sighed.

“It’s really not a big deal,” Steve told him.

“I tried to tell them that we weren’t together, but they wouldn’t believe me,” Tony told him.

Steve rolled his eyes. “I wonder why,” he said dryly.

“I can try to talk to them again,” Tony offered. He was almost begging at this point. “I can have Legal write up a statement.”

“Tony,” Steve said. He set his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “I don’t care if people think you and Bucky are dating.”

Tony stared up at him with those huge eyes of his. He clasped Steve’s hand in his own. “You don’t deserve this,” he said. “You don’t deserve to have to hide your love. I’ll make sure everyone knows the truth.” He patted Steve’s hand and rose from his seat.

Steve stared after him as Tony walked out of the room. “Whoops,” he said once more.

* * *

Steve liked Pepper, he really did. It just so happened that she was also terrifying. So when Steve’s phone lit up and announced that Pepper Potts was calling him, he was perfectly justified in the amount of dread he was feeling. “Hello?” he answered tentatively.

“Why is Tony trying to get the legal department to write up a press release about your relationship status?” she asked without preamble.

Steve gulped. “Because he’s convinced himself that Bucky and I are dating and won’t listen to me when I tell him otherwise,” he told her.

There was quiet on the other end. “Oh my god,” she said finally. “Of course that’s what’s happening.” She sighed. “Why hasn’t Bucky corrected him?”

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know,” said Steve. “Honestly, I’ve been a little busy trying to convince Bucky to ask Tony out. It hasn’t worked obviously.”

“Obviously,” Pepper parroted.

“Tony thinks Bucky and I are the lovestory of the century,” Steve said. He didn’t know why, but he felt compelled to try to explain the situation. He really didn’t want Pepper to be disappointed in him.

Pepper sighed. “I know.”

“I’ve done nothing to try to encourage that belief.”

“I know,” Pepper repeated.

“I want the two of them to be together and happy.”

“Steve,” Pepper said. “I know.”

* * *

 “Do you think Tony hates me?” Bucky asked. He was staring forlornly at the newspaper in front of him.

Steve frowned at him. “Tony couldn’t hate you even if you tried to make him,” Steve told him.

“But this could ruin his chances with you,” Bucky replied. His eyes didn’t move from the picture taking up most of the page. Steve looked at it again. Bucky in the photograph was staring at Tony with total adoration, the kind that was obvious to anyone who looked. Steve was pretty sure that Bucky hadn’t noticed Tony was watching him with the same expression.

[by NeutralChaos915](http://neutralchaos915.tumblr.com/post/151022054318/his-eyes-didnt-move-from-the-picture-taking-up)

Steve sighed. “There’s nothing between Tony and I,” he told his friend again. “There was never going to be. He’s head over heels for you.”

“That’s nice of you to try and make me feel better,” Bucky told him. “You don’t need to lie, though. Why would Tony be in love with me?”

“Why wouldn’t he be?” Steve asked.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at him. “So many reasons,” he said. “I’m a mess. I can give you examples if you really want them.”

Steve ignored him. “Anyone would be lucky to have you,” he told his friend.

“Sure,” Bucky sighed. “Definitely.”

* * *

 

“We could have them get accidentally married?” Clint tried.

Natasha shook her head. “They just got mistaken for a couple in the tabloids and they’re this upset about it. What do you think would happen if they got mistaken for a couple legally?”

Clint sighed. “I never thought this would happen to me,” he said. “I never thought TvTropes would let me down.”

Sam patted his back. “There, there,” he said absently. “Feel free to let it all out.”

Steve rested his chin on his crossed arms. There had to be some way he could fix this. There had to be.

* * *

Having Spider-man tumble in through Steve’s bedroom window was something that Steve definitely hadn’t anticipated. “Hi,” he said, baffled.

Spider-man blinked up at him. “Oh,” he said. “I think I got the wrong window.”

Steve snorted. “Probably.” He extended a hand to help the other superhero to his feet. “Who were you looking for?” he asked once they were both standing.

“Mr. Stark,” the masked hero said. “I mean, Tony. I was hoping for some advice.”

“About what?” Steve asked.

Spider-man shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. “There’s this girl at,” he said, only to cut himself off. “There’s this girl, and I wanted to ask her out, but I don’t exactly know how.”

Steve stared at him. “You want to ask Tony for help with your love life?”

“He just seems like knows what he’s doing, you know?” Spider-man told him.

Steve shook his head. “No. Just, no. Tony’s the last person you should be asking for romantic advice.”

Spider-man tilted his head slightly and the eyes of the mask narrowed. “Okay,” he said slowly. “Bucky, then?”

Steve tried to keep from laughing, he really did, but he was pretty sure he didn’t succeed. “No,” he said.

“Why not?” Spider-man asked, baffled. “They always look so happy together.”

“They’re not together,” he told the kid. “They’re so busy pining over one another that they can’t even realize that their love is requited.”

Spider-man didn’t move. “Oh,” he said.

“Yep,” Steve agreed.

Spider-man’s shoulders dropped. “Who am I supposed to ask for advice now?” he whined.

Steve placed his hands on the kid’s shoulders. “Find something you think you’d have fun doing together,” he said. “Ask if she’d like to do it with you. Make sure she knows it’s a date. Accept whatever answer she gives, even if you don’t like it. That’s how you ask someone out.”

“Okay,” Spider-man said, looking up at him with the wide eyes his mask had. “Okay.”

Steve clapped him on the shoulders briefly before he let the kid go. “You can get out of my bedroom now,” he told him.

“Okay,” Spider-man said one more time. He moved to scramble out of the window. “Thank you, Mr. Captain America, sir. See you later.” With a thwip, he was gone.

* * *

 

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him. “You gave Spider-man advice on how to ask someone out?” she asked incredulously. “You?”

Steve frowned at her. “Just because I haven’t asked a lot of people out doesn’t mean I’m bad at it,” he told her. “I’m just not really interested in anyone right now.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him skeptically. Bucky snorted. Steve glared at him. “You should try that on someone who didn’t know you when you were tiny,” Bucky told him.

“He wanted to ask you and Tony for romantic advice,” Steve retorted. Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Natasha’s face smoothed out. “Oh,” she said, “Good job then.”

“Yeah,” Clint agreed. “Can you even imagine?”

Tony frowned at them. “What’s that supposed to mean? I’ll have you know I’m great at romance.”

Sam snorted into his mug.

“Steve’s terrible at it,” Bucky agreed. “He actually thought fondue was code for sex.”

Steve shoved his friend gently. “As if you actually knew what fondue was back then.”

Bucky ignored him. “He was so busy mooning after Peggy that he only kissed her once.”

“At least I’ve actually kissed the person I was in love with,” Steve said. Bucky flushed and ducked his head.

Tony looked between the two of them with a frown. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

Steve turned his head to look at Tony consideringly for a few moments. “Bucky,” he said, eyes never moving away from the genius.

“Yeah?” Bucky mumbled.

“Did you know that Tony thinks we’re a couple?” He was too busy watching Tony’s face to look at Bucky, but he could hear his friend sputtering.

“What?” Bucky asked. “Why would you think that?”

Tony looked between the two of them in confusion. “Because you are?” he said. “It’s so obvious.”

“We’re not though,” Bucky told him. Steve switched his gaze to Bucky; he looked positively panicked. “We’re really, really not.” His eyes narrowed. “Is that why you haven’t asked out Steve? Because you think we’re dating?”

Tony blinked. “Why the hell would I ask out Steve?”

Bucky stared at him. “Because you’re in love with him,” he told Tony.

“No I’m not,” said Tony, shaking his head. “You’re in love with him.”

“Ew,” said Bucky. There was a moment of silence as the two stared at one another. Around the table, the rest of the team watched the spectacle with wide eyes.

“Someone should make popcorn,” Clint murmured. There was a thud and the archer winced. Steve was pretty sure Natasha had just elbowed him.

“You’re not in a relationship with Steve?” Tony asked. His voice was very quiet and his eyes were very wide.

“Of course not,” Bucky answered. “You’re not in love with him?”

“I’m in love with you,” Tony told him.

Bucky’s eyes grew big. “I’m in love with you, too,” he said. A small grin began to form on his face. Tony’s mouth curved upward in response.

Steve leaned back in his chair. “Finally,” he said. Sam snickered at him. Neither Tony nor Bucky seemed to notice anything except each other. “I think it’s time we left. Pretty sure these two need some privacy.”

Sam nodded and stood. Natasha joined him. “I’m still eating,” Clint complained.

“Just take it with you,” Sam told him, “honestly.”

Clint grumbled but gathered up his plate.

“Friday,” Steve asked as the group walked out the door, “can you warn people heading into the kitchen of what they’re interrupting?”

“Sure thing,” the AI responded.

“Great,” Steve said. He pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Who are you calling?” Sam asked.

Steve hummed. “I’m sure Pepper and Rhodes want to know that Tony’s no longer pining after Bucky,” he said. “And Daredevil wanted me to call him when those two got their act together.” He glanced behind him through the open doorway. Tony and Bucky were still grinning stupidly at each other, although they’d moved enough to link their fingers together. Steve was pretty sure they were oblivious to the exodus of their teammates.

He felt a grin form on his own face as he looked at them. He took hold of the doorknob and pulled the door shut. It closed with a click. He could tease them about it later, he decided. For now he’d let them be alone.

[by Omaano](http://omaano.tumblr.com/post/151021801483/tony-and-bucky-were-still-grinning-stupidly-at)


End file.
